Is there a perfect guy out there for me?
Am I destined to feel empty in my job forever?
Am I meant to be a mom?
Are we even supposed to be selling our house?
Will Juliet ever stop crying at Sunday School?
Am I destined to feel empty in my job forever?
Am I meant to be a mom?
Are we even supposed to be selling our house?
Will Juliet ever stop crying at Sunday School?
Now I realize the issues vary in size a lot, but it hit me in church last week after dropping Juliet off at Sunday School - and agonizing for the rest of the afternoon that these current tears are a sign that I'm destined to have a socially inept child - that the deeper issue is the same. When I wait - and God takes longer than I feel He should to provide what I feel like He should - I often doubt. Why? That's what I'm trying to figure out. Because I look at this list of past and present experiences and acknowledge that God perfectly provides. Better than I could ever ask or imagine.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
Ephesians 3.20-21
Ephesians 3.20-21
So, why in the present wait - both big and small - do I doubt?
Why can I not stand confidently in Him knowing that He WILL
He WILL sell our house
He WILL help Juliet adjust to be away from us
Just like He DID
He DID provide me with the most amazing husband and best friend to share my life with
He DID help me find a job in my career field where I felt fulfilled and content
He DID bless us with a miracle baby ... twice!
He WILL sell our house
He WILL help Juliet adjust to be away from us
Just like He DID
He DID provide me with the most amazing husband and best friend to share my life with
He DID help me find a job in my career field where I felt fulfilled and content
He DID bless us with a miracle baby ... twice!
God is so good. I mean, how blessed am I that my biggest troubles have to do with my child crying at Sunday School?!? I have just felt lately like I'm in a very active battle with my doubt-filled mind about the house, trying desperately to cling to my confidence in God's perfect provision, but wavering ... some days I'm good, some days I'm not ... and it's so aggravating! I blame it on my pregnancy hormones, but I know that's not it. For whatever reason, my weak mind would rather wallow in the worst case scenario than simply trust God who is in control of all things and promises to work everything out!
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8.28
So, I write all this knowing that at some future divinely appointed time, everything will come together perfectly. Lord help me stand confidently knowing that you WILL just like you DID every day until then!
Sending good thoughts your way. :) Thank you for posting this; I needed to hear some of those things right now. I have a lot of doubts in my life too. I'm sure everything will work itself out.
ReplyDeleteWow, I can soooo relate to how you feel and all the subjects listed above. We don't even make it to church anymore because every time we go we get called out of service. Not for one child, but for both! It's a frustrating place to be. I had a friend suggest that I stay in the room with Lelia for a month of Sundays and see if the familiarity would work to help it not be so upsetting to her. We never tried it but it sounded like a good idea. Maybe it will work for you. Anyway, thanks for the post. I completely relate and it helped me to think twice about my doubting...I think sometimes I'm in such a state of doubting that I don't even know I'm doing it. Lots of love! Brooke
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